POA Review

Now that I've watched it, it would be criminal of me not to find time to do a review. Not that the movie's worth it, though. Not my time in watching and reviewing, nor my money, which I actually didn't spend because it was Anjali's treat. There. If you're short of time as well, don't bother reading what follows. The only reason I'm doing it is because.. well.. it's Prisoner of Azkaban - sob! -... and no matter how mutilated, it deserves to be respected.

If only the script-writers had thought the same.

SPOILER WARNING! SPOILER WARNING! SPOILER WARNING!

As a movie, no book knowledge involved, I give this one a 3/10 for sheer incomprehensibility. It's not zero because there was some darned good acting involved (I take back every bad thing I ever said about Gary Oldman), and some really lovely scenes. Great camera work. But nothing can save this movie from its fatal speed. In trying to fit everything into two hours, the script-writers have sacrificed a lot of plot, exposition and very necessary explanation. It's all so rushed, up to and including the Shrieking Shack scene, that people who haven't read the book WILL NOT know what's going on. (Hint, hint - read the book!) This might have been more forgivable if some other long, useless, lingering scenes, like the gratuitous fight scene with the whomping willow, hadn't existed.

As an adaptation of one of my favourite books of all time, certainly the best one in the Harry Potter series, this movie sucked. Having said that, I'd still give it 4/10.

There are some good things, you see. Let's list that so I can bitch at my leisure later.

First - Harry. Never in the movies has more justice been done to his character. Dan's managed some acting for once, even though he slips sometimes, and the direction and script give his character a lot of room for growth. Harry misses his parents, hates the Dursleys and Marge, shows loyalty for his friends and gets angry when he hears of Padfoot in the Three Broomsticks.

I didn't get one thing, though, and I don't see why they should have made this change. During a Patronus training session with Lupin, Harry draws on a memory 'to do with his parents' to conjure one successfully for the first time. Obviously it's a detour from the book, but my mind immediately went to the Mirror of Erised, and I was thrilled that they'd actuallu tied that in here. It would have fitted well. But later, Harry explains that he drew on a 'memory' of his parents talking to him. Weird. He doesn't have any memories like that. But on the whole, Harry was good.

Second - Hermione. Emma's stupendous in this movie. She gets loads of screen time that she makes very good use off; she finally comes off in the movies as the heroine she is. And that punch! I couldn't stop myself from applauding, even in a stiff old Singapore theatre.

Third - Snape, Moony and Padfoot in the Shrieking Shack scene. These are Snape's words to the other two, if my memory serves correctly:
"Look at you two, bickering like an old married couple!"
WHOOOOPEEEEE!!! Plus, Padfoot is very well done. Oldman, like I said, exceeded expectations. Scary when he needs to be, and sexxxy as hell later. I can even forgive him for stealing Dumbledore's lines of finding the person you love within yourself, because it adds that extra touch of poignancy, post OotP.

Fourth - the other, slightly less imp stuff. Trelawney, Draco, Hagrid being broken up about Buckbeak, the twins, the Fat Lady, and that cameo appearance of Sir Cadogan. Two deserve special mentions - the Marauder's Map which looks superb, and Buckbeak, who is CGI and very very realistic. Not cutesy, not scary - just right.

Fifth - the little details. Marge floating around as Harry rushes down Wisteria walk, and the swings being where they're supposed to be. Under a dementor's hood *shiver*. Draco's paper swan. Hermione's wonderful line as she tries to entice Buckbeak towards her with a roasted rodent: "Here, Buckbeak, come and get your nice little ferret!" (Get it?)

Then there's stuff that I don't know how I feel about yet. Dumbledore, for one, was... I don't know. In some ways he was very like Dumbledore, deep and mysterious and all of it. But what defines Dumbledore for me is his wackiness and humour and that was definitely not there. But it wasn't really there in the other movies either so I don't know why I'm feeling weird about Dumbledore here. Maybe because he wasn't there enough... not nearly enough. All his lines got stolen by Padfoot and Moony.

It was also interesting that the Three Broomsticks was treated in the movie like a real pub - kids not allowed. The trio don't go in there, only Harry slips in with his invisibility cloak. Hmm.

WARNING: RANT AHEAD!

The biggest blunder, of course, is the Shrieking Shack scene. It's way too rushed for fans even, though I loved the quarrel between Moony, Padfoot and Snape, even without the 'married couple' reference. Here's where the plot really suffers from being cut down to its bare bones. JKR took it nice and slow in this part (two whole chapters!) for a reason. It needs exposition. It's where it all comes together... this is where the beauty of the book truly lies.

Another thing that irked me is how anger was so muted in this movie. Both Harry and Hermione have decent-sized tempers in third year, but it's not adequately represented. For example, blowing Marge up seems to be a calculated move on Harry's part rather than an involuntary manifestation of his anger. Playing comedic music as Marge floats away slows down Harry's pace. He stands there watching Marge float, funny music in the background, instead of getting his trunk and rushing off.

Another place where this happens is when Hermione leaves Divination. Trelawney says stuff to her, and she just gets up and leaves. She's supposed to show her exasperation, she's supposed to yell, "Fine! I'm leaving! I've had it with this class!" But there's nothing. I suppose that's the natural consequence of not focusing on her overloaded schedule too much.

In terms of specific characters/situations:

1. Ronald Weasly - ornamental. Sirius doesn't attack him, he doesn't defend Harry in the Shrieking Shack, he doesn't even fight much about Scabbers being eaten. He's reduced to Hermione's Love Interest... as someone eloquently put it, it was like the credits read "Mr Hermione Granger". For some reason, Hermione keeps calling him "Ronald". Who does she think she is, Luna?

2. Remus John Lupin - murdered, mutilated and scattered to the wind. It's unforgivable. The man of my dreams (ok, ok, can he be second at least?) looks disgusting - weak chinned, pencil-moustachioed (the worst kind - Gary Oldman's was tolerable), and too old. I know that the occupational hazard of being Lupin is that you've got to be sick all the time, but did he really have to limp and be on the verge of fainting? Couldn't he have just gotten a cold or something? Plus, his body language is weird - this man has effeminate ticks, people. If that isn't murder, tell me what is. I do like his voice, however, and the extra non-book bits about him were brilliant: the music, the 'something big' that Lily did for him.. (Is this officially canon? Did JKR authorise this?? I need to know!)

3. Moony - because I need to keep this book-3-spoiler-free. Ugh. Not bad CGI, just terrible vision behind the CGI. And incredibly, they spell it 'Mooney' in this movie. Huh?!?

4. Quidditch - all new game. A lot of people will like the quidditch scenes in this movie. It's no-holds-barred thrilling and all. But I have a peeve because this isn't the game I know to be quidditch. Since when are you allowed to go miles high into the clouds? Nobody can see you there! How's the referee supposed to know if you've gone out of bounds? And with that kind of cloud cover, how can you not get lost? About the only good thing here is that we get to see a Dementor's mouth. EWWW. And *shiver*.

5. MWPP - invisible! No development on this front... we never get to hear anything about them. All we're left with is Lupin curiously knowing a lot about how the Map works.

There, then. Not so much a review as a blow-by-blow, not-very-organised dissection. I have a lot more to say, but it's best not to sound too incoherent.

If you can stand not watching this movie, don't.