Gone till 5th June

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Groupthink

A South Korean student at V-Tech killed 32 of his fellow students and professors two days ago. This country is going cuh-RAZY.

TV People: OMGWTF! This is awesome! Enough news material to last us days of 24-hour coverage! Quick, find black clothes and sombre expressions for our newscasters to wear - and a few fake-tears as well (not too many, now, just a tasteful few and only for the male anchors, of course).

Journalists: Can I PLEASE get a quote over here? Anyone will do, anyone - janitors, eccentric uncles of former V-Tech students, the guy who built the bloody building (oh, he's dead? Never mind), a stray cat that happened to be on the grounds that day... What's that? Some kid got a jumpy video of the echoes of the gunshots ringing across the deserted campus?! *spontaneous orgasm*

Bill O'Rielly: This is exactly what happens when you give guns to no-good foreigners from places we can't even pronounce. The United States of America is under attack, people! And we're giving them VISAS! And will somebody please tell me if Koreans are Muslims? I think this guy was a Muslim. It's always the Muslims.

Anti-gun Lobby: This is exactly what happens when you give guns to people. Yes, yes, we get it, guns don't kill people, people kill people. But it's like Eddie Izzard said: the guns kinda help, don't they? Nothing happens if you just point your finger at someone and go, "BANG!"

Green Card Applicants: We're screwed.

Indians in USA: I hope Americans know how far away India is from Korea.

Indians in India: Oh no, look how many Indian people died. So few Americans in that classroom! Goddamn, we're a smart bunch of people.

Koreans in USA: We're screwed. Let's eat Kimchi.

Saurabh: No-good spoiled bratty teens and goddamn America selling guns to bloody anyone...

Wendelin: Wait, so he wrote a play in which there are characters who want to kill other characters, and his teacher reports him to the police?! OMGWTF writers, First Amendment... *incoherent sputtering*

Al Gore: Global warming is obviously frying young people's brains now.

Lecture: The Human Body as an Evolutionary Patchwork

This is a superb lecture from a working scientist (approx. 1 hr 30 min). Dr. Alan Walker comes across as a creative, hardworking, and humble man. His demeanour invites contemplation, coaxes thought, and really helps you listen to what he's describing. Don't miss the Q&A session at the end - his responses to audience's questions show his immense knowledge and experience, and once again, his willingness to share what he knows in a friendly and non-threatening manner stands out.

Listen and you will learn why human testes are outside the body (not just the lower temperature explanation) and why men have nipples. I found his opinion that we are Homo Erectus (that the species didn't go extinct) to be a blast of fresh air. He thinks taxonomy is overcrowded! Occam's Razor, anyone?

Be prepared for a bunch of evolutionary biology jargon - this is a man who does not talk down to his audience - but he never gets incomprehensible. Watch in awe as he rigorously warns the audience whenever the subject matter strays into speculative or controversial territory - and tells you exactly what the debate is so you're not lost.

This is as close as you can get to a religious experience.

Step Up, Mr. Birkhead

Listen up, we have a father!

What a fantastically appropriate name that Larry Birkhead has. As Earl would say, Artchy Fartchky Berky Borky. And I'm shocked - shocked, I tell you! - that the U.S. media's jumping all over this story and making it frontpage headlines when there are planes being hijacked and planets being melted around here. (Secret confession: I had my heart set on a Maury Show reveal. Sigh.)

Whatever. I'm going offline for another three weeks to get away from this horror, the horror. In case you can't tell, I'm going through a bout of supreme blogging-apathy which is, surprisingly enough, translating into decent writing. Let the eeeeeeeeagle soooooar...