It's a LATE AMADay!

AMADay Vol V

Null Bit wonders...

If you wanted to murder someone, how would it be?

I actually have this very well thought-out. First, I'd only ever murder someone living in a city. City people don't notice people going into and coming out of apartments or walking on the streets or whatever. From the same logic, I will carry out the murder during lunch hour on Friday. I'd only ever murder someone I was (apparently) friendly with and never had a major argument with. My motives might include jealousy, jealousy and jealousy. (Yes, the green-eyed monster occupies a large part of my brain.)

I will wear "Friday casual" clothes to blend in (it will allow me to wear a scarf to cover my hair). I will be let into the apartment by the soon-to-be victim. Immediately after being let in, I will deposit a bag containing a carton of ice cream into this person's freezer because I was sweet enough to bring him one. Concealed in this bag is an ice-pick.

I will then take the StbV on his offer of iced tea or whatever, and will take this opportunity to deposit sedatives into his glass. I will get the sedatives months in advance by faking sleeplessness to my doctor. This means finding a doctor who knows nothing about me. :P

Then it's simply a matter of putting on an apron, delivering a couple of quick stabs, stuffing the apron into my oversized handbag and getting out quick.

All my clothes, the apron and the handbag will be burnt immediately and thoroughly. Ta da!

Notice I don't have a cool alibi planned. Normal, innocent people never have one. I was just wandering around the city during the lunch hour, cooking up stories. Why? Somebody killed that incredibly successful writer who was totally my friend? Oh, what a shame.

If you had a million dollars, what would you buy first?

An apartment in New York. Which means it's the only thing I'd buy... har har.

What's the ratio of your height and your waistline? :-D

Tut tut, trick question. My height is well known among the frequenters of this blog... and all you'd have to do is perform a simple multiplication operation to... Uh huh. Na na. No way-o. I'm going no further than to say it's greater than 2.1 and less than 2.4.

Anon asks...

Top five favourite movies ?

This varies a lot... but for now, in no particular order:

1. Z
2. Before Sunset
3. The Children of Heaven
4. Angoor
5. Pulp Fiction

Kr!sh wonders...

Would you recommend P.G.Wodehouse's short stories?

Ahhh... tricky, very tricky. I find the Oldest Member (golf) stories very, very boring, but OTOH, there're many Jeeves and Wooster shorts - and anything with Jeeves and Wooster is absolutely sublime. Blandings stories are also great overall, even if there're some duds mixed in with the lot.

What novel would you recommend for a person with ADD - a short attention span?

Thank You, Jeeves & Right Ho, Jeeves (P. G. Wodehouse)

Presumed Innocent (Scott Turow)

Fear of Flying (Erica Jong)

Anything by Bill Bryson (it's not novels but it's great nevertheless)

Harry Potters 1-3.

Is that good for now?

Chitra asks...

How much do you like Harry Potter?

Oh this is worthy of an essay. Let's do this telegram-style. Me likey HP 1-5, lot lot lot. Book 6 suck. Methinks book 7 will disappoint. But HP still awesome anyway.

If you could kill someone, whom would it be??

I think I've been over this before.
1. Govinda
2. Whoopi Goldberg
3. Johnny Lever

Recently others have been added tot his list:
4. Kent Hovind
5. Dubya

ermm... heehee.... Do you fancy any guys in the book? one of them or saurabh?

By 'the book' you mean The Book? Everybody knows I love Jesus and Jesus loves me.

(Psst: Faramir! Sirius! But mostly Harry! Don't look at me like that, it's not icky, he's a year OLDER than me!)

If there was one thing you could change in your life, what would it be?

I think I would've taken better care of my red bus that my cousin sat on when I was three. That's the root of all my troubles.

do you like me calling you "akka"??

:P You never do. Don't come on thsi blog and try to tell people you've gone all respectful now..

If you could change your looks..as in your figure... whom would you want to look like?

I'm fine, really, with me. A little taller wouldn't be bad. Say 5'8". And oh, oh, smaller thighs. Maybe nice, shapely fingers instead of the stocky stubs I have now. Ooh, and washboard abs... Heck, just make me look like Priyanka Chopra, OK?

How would you spend your *perfect* day?

Eh. What sort of idiotic question is this? I guess the perfect day is when I manage to write more than 5000 words, and also manage to send in two queries to magazines. There's no high like the 5000-word high.

Do you like to be alone, or with people?

Aw come on! What's this, a personality quiz in Seventeen magazine?

what would you like to change in me...if you could that is :P

I'd make you call me 'Akka' all the time. And program you to bring me nice hot snacks every half-hour while I write.

hmm.... whose your fav character in LOTR?

Gollum, baby. I've answered this before.

would you rather live *this* life, or that of one of the students in Hogwarts?

I prefer to believe in parallel universes... and in the universe adjacent to ours, I'm living the Hogwarts life right now. :D

What do you like and not like about saurabh?

I like how he is susceptible to my nagging to read this blog - how he even occasionally likes it. I hate that he's sitting beside me right now censoring everything I am trying to say in answer to this question.

hhmmm.... Have you enjoyed answewring these questions??? HEEHEE

Let's just call you a toe-sucking pimple on the face of the internet and be done with it, shall we?

one last one.... Whats your weight??? ;)

Yeah, yeah... you and Null Bit should get together and plot your evil plans better. I'll tell you that it's greater than 100 Lbs and less than 150 Lbs. Nyah nyah nyah.

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• AMADay