It's Ask Me Anything Day!

AMADay, Vol II.

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In this issue:

Singapore vs. USA, DEATHMATCH!

Alien Spawn!

Exclusive! Photograph of Wendelin eating fondue!

Intimate Confessions: How I Caught My Husband! and...

SPECIAL: WHY I WAS MEAN TO 4WD!

PETA | J. K. Rowling | Writing Advice | And much, much more!

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J. K. Rowling

Why do you worship JK Rowling so much? The answer needn't be long and you can give instances of her cool one-liners. If it makes me read her books, you win. (Kr!sh)

*gasp* *choke* You haven't read any of her books yet?!? Sacrilege!

Must... calm... down...

All right. Your question. First, JKR is not Dave Barry, so your request for one-liners is summarily denied. Though, of course, you will find plenty of examples of her pervasive humour if you read some of the stuff on her website (or her books, goddamn heathen ;P ).

I worship her because she is a writer - a really, really good one (read HP books 1-5). A successful one. Who has made a billion dollars by writing. If I was into tech-geekitude, I'd worship Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. If I was into making movies, I'd worship Peter Jackson (what a work ethic!). Part of succeeding in one's chosen profession is to look at the successes in the field and model the hell out of them. Therefore I, my dear Krplingsh, am gonna.

How I Caught My Husband

How did you catch your husband? (Nidhi)
My own, original seven secret sure-fire no-fail strategies guaranteed to work for everyone. You can learn them TODAY for the low, low price of only $29.95.
Fine Print: The particular husband you manage to catch may or may not be IIT graduate/multimillionaire/Bard Pitt.

The Mystery of Life

Is there life on other planets? (Anonymous)
But of course. They have visited Earth, too, and left their alien spawn behind. How else can you explain Govinda?

I am in favor of Evolution and all that. But I am confused about what gave the first spark for Life in this planet. Is it simply a chemical reaction? If it is, why can't we duplicate that in labs. ( Or can we?). Convince me. (Kr!sh)
The whole God thing is so ridiculous. So apparently God touched the finger of Adam, was it?, and imbued him with the spark of life, and that's how there came to be life on earth. Of course, since we know that's not literally true, we're supposed to interpret the scriptures "correctly", and say God actually sparked life into some protozoa, not Adam. Adam was just a symbolic name for the little iggly wiggly protozoa, don't you see?

Substitute lotus flowers coming out of Brahma's navel, and you have the Hindu creation myth, which is just as bullshit - probably more.

So why exactly did God create life?

And how exactly did you find out that it was Him?

If we're the point of the whole exercise, why muck around with millions of years of evolution instead of just - bam - there's homo sapiens?

OK, He created life. So what? How do you get from there to morals and commandments and worship?

So let's just say there're way too many gaps in that story. I prefer theories that are arrived at through some verifiable process of actual knowledge, theories that can be tested and potentially falsified, theories that are useful and offer predictions, theories that don't contradict vast bodies of knowledge already gathered. For now, that theory is the one with the primodial soup. We might be able to duplicate it in labs, or we may not. Who knows? But just because we don't know, we can't assume one random explanation to be true.

And for everybody who thinks it was God, allow me to ask you: how is the God theory more probable than -

a. Aliens implanting life on earth, just for fun
b. Satan creating life in defiance of God
c. Supermonkeys from another universe barfing on earth after a big party and accidentally contaminating us with life

There's just as much evidence for this as there is for God, isn't there? These are just as un-disproveable as God, aren't they?

How are you expected to know about how life started? Why would anyone ask you that, rather than just be happy with not knowing or meditate, attain enlightenment and then know.(4WD)
Dude, it's Ask Me Anything Day. You could ask me how a nuclear reactor works and I'd have to answer you. (Disclaimer: Accuracy of answers may vary.)

The PETA Question

Why do you hate peta more than anyone else? (Nidhi)
I don't. Look carefully. The deeper you go in hell, the worse off you are.

I am a PETA member, why do you hate PETA so much? It's not so bad, really. I know that a lot of the members of PETA make members like me lose credibility, but whatever, right. Just trying to help. :) Not selling PETA here, but curious to know your reasons. (Mockingbird)
Look, if I had a club, I'd make damn sure I have a follow-this-or-die rulebook which made it clear it was NOT OK to break into / burn down research centers. PETA doesn't seem to have a concept of how not to trample on people's rights. How different are they, even OFFICIALLY, from Catholics who form human barricades around abortion clinics? As soon as their policies change, I'm going to be first in line to start respecting them.

On Writing

How does it feel to have a whole strech of time to write? I have been thinking about quitting and going full-time, but I am not brave enough. (Mockingbird)
When I was in school (and working sorta illegally on the side), I got about 70% as much writing done in a week as I do now. Takes a lot of discipline (which I don't have) to not consider my time as free time. Oh well. I'll get there.

:) The decision to write full-time was based less on courage than on visa situation. I read somewhere that a writer shouldn't quit her day job until she -

a. Is making the same amount of money from writing as from the day job
b. Has been doing (a) for at least two years
c. Has enough money saved (not in advances) to live on for one year and
d. Has enough contracts to keep her busy for one year.

I consider that very sound advice. Now all I have to do is get a day job.

Sometimes I get really cool idea, and I can talk for hours about them with people in person, but the moment I sit down on the computer, I become completely blank, will hardly write one or two sentence and realize this is all I had to say. What do I do, how do I begin. Have written 30 page letters full lenght page love letters to girlfriends before, tho. Any suggestions? (Amit)

30 page letters....! Shit, give some pointers to Saurabh, will you?

Here's my theory: all cool ideas can be expressed in one sentence. Explanations are only necessary if there is a disagreement or a failure to understand it - i.e. a failure to see how the idea is applicable in life.

Example: the God question, above. The idea that I have is simple - God doesn't exist. What else is there to say about it? Nothing, unless somebody says, "no, dude, God exists, look, He created the universe, isn't that proof?" Then you explain why that can't be. Or somebody'll say, "So what if God doesn't exist?", to which you can launch into a rant about how it's important for people to stop believing in God, because trusting in fiction does a lot of harm.

All the movies you've seen, the books you've read, have a one-sentence idea behind them. The movie or the book is an attempt to get the audience to understand the idea by showing how it's applicable to real people. The understanding only happens when the idea is repeatedly tested by antagonistic people and situations, and is shown to be true. (Think of it this way: a movie without any conflict would suck.)

So the next time you want to write, play Devil's Advocate to your idea. Think what the nay-sayers would say. Then blast them to smithereens. It's crazy fun.

DEATHMATCH: Singapore vs. USA, with a bit of India thrown in

• Which one do you like better - Singapore or US? (Kr!sh)


• Living in the US and Living in India. What do you gain and what do you lose? (Null Bit)


• Which one do you like better, a little island that you can drive across in 30 mins, with no real forest except one that comes with the night safari, little political freedom, where all vehicles have speed limiters on them, or a large country with a million different things to do, people that can openly criticise their president, and where you can actually buy a fast car that's fast. (4WD)

Here's what I want my life to be like, everyday-wise. I want to step outside my house and see some sign of human life around. I want to be able to walk to a grocery store from home, because there are times I don't feel like driving 30 minutes every time I forget to put something on my shopping list. I want to be able to take walks or go jogging outdoors on something other than bloody roads with no sidewalks. I want cafes on the sidewalk, hustle and bustle on the streets, public trasport at least for distances greater than 500m and less than 3000m. I want to live in a place where there is stuff within a distance of 3000m from home.

And here's what I'd like life to be at the macro level: freedom of speech, a free market, separation of the church and the state, other personal freedoms. The US wins out here (even if only on paper).

I could have both if I was rich enough to live in midtown Manhattan or downtown Boston. But I'm not. So I have to look at what I value more. It turns out I'm willing to trade on political freedoms for a bit of fun. Imagine that.

(India? If my books sell and I become a millionaire, then I'm packing off to live in Bangalore that very day. Until then, Singapore is an excellent compromise.)

Random Questions
Why were you mean to me? (4WD)
Aww you poor widdle baby. Did bad Wendy hurt your feelings?

Dude, I explained. I just picked on you coz I felt like it. You know, like, for laughs. Chin up. :)

What's with stupid questions like `why do you like JK Rowling?' (read the damn books, instead of reading log tables, i'd say) (4WD)
Log tables, eh? I didn't know Kr(gasp)sh was into them. I wonder what the charm is. Perhaps Krplingsh would care to explain?

Very cool template, where did you get it?(Amit)
Made it meself. Images are from sxc.hu, for whom I put a banner in the 'Credits' section like a good girl. If you want the template, just say the word.

What do you look like? (Nidhi)


Who is your favourite LOTR character and why? (Anonymous)
Gollum. Jesus. What a charcater. (Also, I may be willing to commit a double-murder to leave the way clear for Faramir and myself.)

I just realised this may give you the impression that I like LotR. I don't. It's the most overrated piece of written work next to the Bible.

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• AMADay