The Finding of the Passports

.................

Monday 25th April - Tuesday 26th April:

1. Kept calling -
   
   
   • (a) the French Consulate to see if package had been delivered
   
   
   • (b) the Indian Consulate to see if it was possible to get passports replaced in a rush
   
   
   • (c) US Immigration Services to see how to replace essential forms and visas
   
   
   • (d) US Postal Service package status checking hotline to see if delivery confirmation that we had requested was recieved.
   
   


2. Handled a dozen phone calls and emails from worried parents


3. Resolved to donate $150 in total to worthy charity if things turned out well. (Saurabh: $100, Me: $50. Student Discount.)


4. Panicked freely


5. Finally made contact with Indian Consulate on Tuesday evening. Verdict: emergency processing is possible!

Wednesday 27th April:
10:45 am
Arrived in NYC, met Saurabh, went off in direction of nearest bank to get documents notarised.

11:40 am
PANTING AND TEARING HAIR OUT because -

1. Bank of America: no notary available


2. Citibank: (which we reached after going off searching in the wrong direction; my fault) notary busy taking college exam online, unable to attend to us


3. Another Branch of BoA : no notary available


4. Funk & Scrap (i.e. totally random name that I cannot remember) Bank: notary busy, must wait for 20 minutes


5. Another Random Bank: not a bank at all, only a freakishly large place housing ATM

... and we need to be in Indian Consulate by 12:15 pm.

11:45 am
Called Indian Consulate, asked if we can be late. They say that emergency services can be processed at any time. Breathe huge sigh of relief.

12:05 pm
Off to the Consulate, documents duly notarised by Frik & Scamp Bank.

12:25 pm
Reach Consulate, denied entry for being 10 minutes "late".

12:30 pm
Called guy who told us that we can come in anytime. Who, of course, promptly starts lecturing on the importance of being on time and how the Consulate has Procedures and Regulations and Fixed Timings. Beg. Plead. Says, "OK, come in."

1:00 pm
Submitted application for duplicate passports along with $250 application fee. Told to come back next week for 'interview'. Beg. Plead. They say, "OK, we'll do the interview at 2 pm."

1:10 pm
Wander the streets a bit. On whim, call the US Postal Service. They say: "Your package is undeliverable and is being held at a post office in NYC." Stunned expressions.

1:15 pm
Still stunned expressions.

1:20 pm
I start bawling - right on the intersection of 66th St and 5th Avenue.

1:30 pm
We find out that package is 'probably' being held at post office on 70th st. Practically run there.

2:00 pm
Told by post office that package isn't there, and will probably reach them tomorrow, because it's "with the carrier".

2:50 pm
Eat expensive pizza. Make several phone calls. Package may be at another post office. Decide to split up: I go to the Indian Consulate to try and get our money back, Saurabh goes to the post office, meet at roughly 4:00 pm at predetermined spot.

3:30 pm
I reach predetermined spot, money-less. "Once the fee is punched in, no refunds. Punched is punched is punched."

4:00 pm
No sign of Saurabh

4:30 pm
No sign of Saurabh

4:35 pm
Call post office Saurabh was supposed to go to. They tell me there has been nobody there enquiring about package. Worried.

4:45 pm
Worried.

5:00 pm
Panic. Why hasn't Saurabh at least called?

5:15 pm
.....

5:20 pm
.....

5:22 pm
Phone rings. Saurabh's voice says, "Hey, where are you? I'm on my way." I scream incoherently, then tell him I am at predetermined spot, obviously.

5:30 pm
Saurabh shows up. I bawl again, this time on intersection of 42nd St and 8th Ave.

5:35 pm
Go to McDonald's on 42nd St. Have medium-sized fight.
Me: You should have called.
Saurabh: You're so weird, you overreact.

5:50 pm
Truce

6:00 pm
Saurabh's story comes out. He never went to the said post office, because he was told package was in another place. When he went there, they shunted him to another P.O. And so on, till he had covered 5 P.Os and come full circle to the very first one on 70th St - where he is told the exact same thing as before: the carrier has it, come back tomorrow.

6:15 pm
General frustration. It's raining outside, and we're at Mac's, so might as well eat fries.

7:30 pm
Rain stops. Decide that Saurabh should stay overnight and get package instead of waiting for bloody P.O. people to ship it to us via USPS (hah).

Thursday, 28th April
9:00 am
Saurabh goes to P.O. as instructed: no package. Calls me (I'm back in school).

9:30 am
I start calling people. I speak to the supervisors of two P.Os, who tell me tha package was probably delievered to French Consulate yesterday, and eventually the mailman who delivers to 5th Ave (where the French Consulate is), who tells me that there were no packages matching the description of ours' yesterday.

9:45 am
I give up and scream.

10:00 am
Saurabh calls with news. He stopped by at French Consulate and found our passports there. He has even managed to get his visa to France. No stunned expressions or bawling or even relief this time. Just... numbness.

So. USPS managed to:

1. do nothing with our package for a week and a half


2. LIE that they attempted to make a delivery (at 3:14 am!!)


3. not have a clue as to where they keep their supposedly undeliverable packages


4. deliver the bloody "undeliverable" package at another random time


5. AND, screw up the delivery confirmation so that they have no idea whether or not the package has been delivered.

Moral of the story: if anything can possibly go wrong at USPS, it most certainly will.

USPS owes us:

• $250 (passport applications)


• $120 (bus fares to NYC)


• $110 (hotel room for overnight stay)


• $20 (travel costs in NYC)


• $20 (phone calls to USPS, Indian Consulate, French Consulate and US Immigration)


• $10 (misc expenses incl. photocopying documents for passport application etc)


• $10 (Original postage on our package)

Subtotal: $540

Trauma, stress and suffering: somebody suggest a good number.