Highs and Lows of the Week

1. The Lady or the Tiger? (A short story by Frank Stockton)
From the very first line, it's genius.

In the very olden time there lived a semi-barbaric king, whose ideas, though somewhat polished and sharpened by the progressiveness of distant Latin neighbors, were still large, florid, and untrammeled, as became the half of him which was barbaric.

Wow... just wow.

Just one small problem. You'll know what it is when you read the story (it's in public domain, having been written about a century ago). Damn. I'm still thinking about it. But the writing is still pure genius.

Which reminds me...

2. A book reco: 21 Great Stories
Without a doubt, this is the best anthology of short stories I've ever read, and this includes Roald Dahl's complete Tales of the Unexpected. In fact, some individual stories in this collection are such gems that I'd place them on my master-list of top ten best pieces of writing ever - Eve in Darkness by Kaatje Hurlbut, Footfalls by Wilbur Daniel Steele, So Much Unfairness of Things by C. D. B. Bryan and Leiningen Versus the Ants by Carl Stephenson. The last two are my favourites, and I'm still reeling from the impact of reading them.

I mean it, you know - all four of these stories make it on my top 10 list of the best fiction things I've ever read, along with the third Harry Potter book, Catcher in the Rye, Ibsen's A Doll's House, To Kill a Mockingbird and Gone With the Wind. If I could lump it all together and treat this as one book, it will be the BEST BLOODY BOOK I HAVE EVER READ. Not kidding.

And I haven't even finished it. There're four stories still that I haven't got to: one by John Steinbeck called Pearl, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, which I need to re-read, one called Eveline by James Joyce and What Stumped the Bluejays (chapter 3 of A Tramp Abroad) by Mark Twain. Talk about a killer line-up. I can't even stomach it - I've been reading it at the pace of two stories a day, one as soon as I wake up, and one before I go to sleep.

Need I urge you to go find a copy of this book? Me, I'm probably going to buy this book in bulk... from now on, everybody's going to know what to expect for a birthday present from me. If you're expecting a gift from me, that is. ;)

3. And, possibly as a result of this continuous onslaught of cruelly Perfect Prose, my writing has stalled. In capitals - S-T-A-L-L-E-D. And you know what? It's NOT BLOODY FAIR! I like all the stuff I'm in the process of writing, but all I do is stare at a blank screen all day... or else I churn out utter garbage. I just want to die.

4. Passion of the Potter?
I thought I'd seen 'em all: Hermione/Snape fics, Harry/Voldemort fics, Dumbledore/Malfoy fics and even a memorable McGonagall/Mrs. Norris one. But here's an idea: how about a story where the Trio rescues Jesus from Golotha, and brings Him back to Hogwarts to fight Voldemort?

Yes - my reaction exactly. The story is 3 chapters long, for the moment, and Jesus has already made my Gary Stu Hall of Fame: He has moves worthy of Jackie Chan crossed with the Matrix people ("My children, the Lord wants you to turn the other - HEE-YAH! Right, what was I saying?"), He has neatly explained away His ability to speak English ("The Father gives Me the ability to communicate with all His children"), and he's got rid of Moaning Myrtle, my most favouritest ghost in the HP universe ("She belongs in My Father's Kingdom"). I shudder to think what romantic plans the author has for the Son of God. Jesus/Ron, anyone? (AAAAUGH!)

Perhaps I'm missing on the full shock effect on account of being an atheist and decidedly NOT Christian... but I suspect not, because the void God leaves in my life is more or less filled by Harry Potter. Consider me suitably scandalised.

Note: Commenting facility has been shifted to blogger, because Haloscan randomly eats stuff after a couple of months. Plus, Blogger is now allowing anonymous commenting, and Haloscan-like popup windows for commenting. Which I like, for some reason.