Naught naught... n' naughty

So I've been calling random big shots up trying to get them to speak for a conference my company is organising. The trouble is, I have to get past the Great Wall of Secrataries. I had one of them thinking I was an industrial spy today, regular 007 -

Yours Truly: "Hello, may I speak to Mr --- please?"
Great big fat Wall: "What is this regarding?"
YT: "I just wanted to know if your bank is implementing any credit portfolio management."
GW: "I'm sorry, I can't tell you that."
YT: (Ani style) "OK... Uh... You do have a team managing your company portfolio, right? Is your bank BASEL II* compliant?"
GW: "I'm sorry, my boss has instructed me not to tell anyone anything."
YT: "But... why? I'm only..."
GW: "The thing is, we never know, you see. You could be our competitor or you could use our information for other purposes which we may not want you to."
YT: Hangs up as unable to control laughter.

There was this other time I called up and actually got through to the big shot. Halfway through the conversation the lady puts me on hold to take another call... only she doesn't put me on hold. I can hear every word she's saying to somebody who could only possibly be a lover... *yuck* Yours truly was not built to be a phone-voyeur. The fun part, though, was when she came back on the line and seemed to realise she hadn't put me on hold. She asked me if she had, and I just said "No," in the coolest tone of voice I could manage.

Talk about bargaining chips. ;D


*Basel is this accord thingy that banks have been 'strongly recommended' to follow; it sets standards for minimum percentages of capital savings etc.