Mush

Next weekend looms, and a definite sappiness seems to have kicked into my life. I'm going through all the stages in the "moving on to a whole new chapter of life" thing, soup to nuts, missing none, sometimes backtracking and doing things twice.

Wondering where on earth the last four years - heck, the last couple of months - went? Check. Stopping abruptly in the midst of conversation to gaze fondly at friends, words of amiable insult dying on my lips? Check. Thinking things like - "Now, what sort of gift says 'BWAAAAHHHHH I can't bear to leave you!' without seeming too pathetic?" Check. Wilfully looking at HDB flats because I won't get to see them after I leave? Check. Clobbering boyfriend when he tries to reassure me by telling me how he's completely lost touch with college friends, so it's OK, in five years this won't matter? Check.

I'm a wreck. Embarrassing tears threaten to break out at the drop of a smile. As usual, tension about other stuff is the only solution. I very intelligently planned for this very contingency by leaving the really, really important stuff till the last.

So I'm applying for my visa only tomorrow, and I'm afraid I won't get it. (Once again, the boyfriend tries to reassure me by telling me 60% of all applicants are granted visas.) Mild panic is beginning to set in because I can't seem to get a flight booking from any of the three travel agents I contacted. My packing's not done, and the money is tight.

So HA to you, suckers - now I'm too busy biting my nails down to the quick to have an emotional breakdown.